Monday, August 10, 2015

J. Garcia Bolsters New Line of Ties That Look Like SH*T

So, I occasionally shop for clothes. I am not typically a fancy dresser – just pants and a T-shirt. However; my job sometimes requires that I wear a full-fledged dress suit.

So, I need to buy fancy dress clothes every now and again.

I have been looking for a new tie lately. I noticed that there is a new "line" of ties called "J. Garcia".

They look like somebody asked, "Do you have any ties that do not even go with themselves?"

The response was for somebody to eat some skittles and then vomit on silk – and – POW – the "J. Garcia" collection of seriously ugly ties was born.
Ugly Ties

I have been looking for a new matching pocket square and tie for about 3-4 months now.

Every time I visit a store, I notice that the “Garcia Collection” is always there – and has not diminished.

In other words – I do not think anybody is buying these f*ck ugly ties. I know I certainly am not.

What is worse – few retailers bother with matching pocket squares anymore – they are a bitch to find.

Anyway, why would Macys, JCPennys, Kohls and other major retailers stock a line of ties that nobody wants to buy because they look like My Little Pony did some explosive diarrhea on them?
J. Garcia Ties are Pony Diarrhea

My current hypothesis – is that the CEO’s (or the people in charge) of these retail stores are functional retards.

My taste in semi-formal dress...

Light blue shirt with black tie, grey sports coat, gold tie clip.

Light purple shirt with dark purple tie, grey sports coat

Grey shirt, green tie, black sports coat.

Black shirt lavender tie with matching pocket square, grey sports coat - finding a store that actually sells pocket squares with their ties is a bee-otch..

Please do not tell me I look like a Mob Enforcer – I get that all the time and I hate that.

I usually wear these suits to court for my company - and to a less extent - to social events - and to a less extent - family court.  Based on the judges name (male or female), and reputation - is what prompts me what colors to mix (I have not had the need to wear standard white shirt with red power tie and either black or grey sports coat - I send these pics to my GF - because she likes seeing me dressed up - and when I am dressed up I usually leave for work after she does) .

Many would say this is off topic from anti-feminism. Is it? The fact that people in high places are so detached that they stock f*ck ugly clothes that nobody wants to buy (at least no straight men) is not relevant to a post-feminist society?

I get approached by retail employees, "Can I help you sir?"

I reply, "Yeah, do you sell clothes for heterosexual men?"

No - nobody gets offended, I usually get a laugh - to a less extent - I get a confused look.

I think the f*ck ugly clothes that most stores try to pawn off on men for outrageous prices is relevant to post-feminism.

The so-called "big wigs" in our society are dimwits. They believe that newer is always better, and that men will buy crass ugly ties that looked like they were jismed on by a group of masturbating M&M's with special needs

Is it me - or are these f*ck ugly ties???

I found that the best way to buy ties is online - there are many sites - BuyYourTies, TheTheBar and Ties are good sites to purchase ties (there are many other good sites too) - and they actually offer the matching pocket square - AND - unlike Macys, JCPennys, Kohls et al - they do not want $55 to $120 for their silk ties - you can get a quality silk tie for about $10 to $20.

Although, the problem I have with online sites, is that the color on a computer monitor is not quite the same as the color in person - I have done 2 returns in the last month. Third time is a charm...

Anyway, I am frustrated with tie shopping, hopefully, the ones I ordered online will work with the rest of my wardrobe (got a patent infringement trial coming up - I have been deposed as always).  Sorry for the rant - but - dang - I get pissed when shopping for clothes.

Is it just me???