Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Willy Wonka and the OOMPA-LOOTAHZ!!!

Oompa Looter doom pa dee dat
oompa loompa
Michael Brown? Who the f**k is that?

Oompa looter doom pa dee dip
oompa loompa
Let's see if we can make this police car flip

Oompa looter doom pa dee dee
oompa loompa
This is how - we make small businesses flee

Oompa looter doom pa dee durb
oompa loompa
Let's play with fire - and hope we don't get burned

Oompa Looter doom pa dee dum
oompa loompa
That's what we are - really f**king dumb

I hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving. Piss PETA off - and eat some meat this weekend.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Cooking with Matthew Williams

Matthew Williams Hello boys and ghouls! Today, I will offer you some delicious, tasty and nutritious recipes that will also help you get your game on with some hotties. All you need is no job, no money, no future and a complete disregard for human life to prepare these caveat cannabalistic dishes!
To start, if you are not a loser or a waste of space, you probably will not find these recipes appealing, and you will not be able to cook them either, because the dumb-f**king-bitches like Cerys Yummy Yemm won't come near you because you are not a psychopathic killer. Just ask Jessi Leigh Foster.

Yummy Yemm hors d'oeuvres (whores devours)

1 cup olive oil.
2 cloves garlic
Left leg of Cerys Yemm

Cerys YemmStart with the fact that you are a complete loser psychopath and able to attract good-looking women like Cerys Yemm. Dice left leg thoroughly. Preheat oven to 325. Mix oil and garlic in large bowl. Dice leg meat up and marinade in oil mixture. Bake for 325 minutes. Yumm.

Yummy Yemm Pot Roast

Cerys Yemm's torso.
1 lb Carrots
Cerys YemmPreheat oven to 425. Place upper torso of Cerys Yemm in large pan. Place pan in oven. Roast for 3-4 hours or until the meat comes off the bone nicely. Serves with raw carrots. Yumm!

Lady Fingers

8 Fingers from Cerys Yemm
2 Thumbs (optional)
Cerys YemmRemember you are a psychotic loser with no future and no empathy for your fellow human beings, that is why women like this will actual talk to you instead of telling you to go f**k yourself, or explain that they are "out of your league" etc... Cut off Cerys Yemm's fingers (along with thumbs if you are going that route). Place fingers in a bowl. Served chilled with hot coffee or cocoa.

Remember ladies - watch out for those self-purported-nice-guys.
Cerys Yemm
They are all out to get you!!!!!
Instead, be an empowered, enlightened, modern, evolved woman, and hook up with trash like Matthew Williams et al...

When you are murdered, I'll laugh my ass off!


This has got to be the most hilarious one yet. Yeah, she is definitely "out of my league", and also "getting flushed out of a toilet about now"!!!
BYE CERYS - I sure as hell won't moan the loss of a psycho-chasing bitch like you!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Amber Lynn Coplin - No "Self-Purported Nice Guys" got Sex - so It's OK.

Amber CoplinWell, the reporters at RIP-Factor were very concerned when we heard about the tragic death of Amber Lynn Coplin. We were very worried, that perhaps, a few "self-purported nice guys" may have gotten to tap this little hottie.
According to our research, no "self-purported nice-guys" got any kind of sexual act from her - so we can all sleep easier tonight. The last thing our society needs, is decent young men getting laid! There is even a T.V. show dedicated to portraying how evil and nasty sex it - it is called, "Law and Order - Special Needs Unit". Many women are suffering from a condition called rape

David KalacIt turns out, that Amber was more into the Grim-Reaper, Count Dracula type of guys - like David Kalac. Allegedly his own words (posted anonomousely), "Turns out its way harder to strangle someone to death than it looks on the movies". Well, I guess like any REAL MAN who is not a SELF-PURPORTED NICE GUY, you live, you kill and you learn. Maybe the next time he kills his ex-girlfriend, he'll be more experienced, and it won't be quite a chore for him.

The tragic death of this woman can only mean one thing for our society, especially for the little angels misogynistically known as women (with an E instead of a Y)...
David Kalac
That right ladies, He is now available, and in prison. But - he is AVAILABLE!!!

Oh, but first, let us all take a moment, to celebrate this human sacrifice in wiccan fashion mourn that poor girls death.
Amber Coplin
EEEK - seriously - that picture above looks like some kind of freaky wiccan cult.

Friday, November 7, 2014