Monday, March 14, 2011

Woman Starts Fight with Boyfriend and Loses: Calls for Stronger Support to End Domestic Violence!

Rosy Harding, 23 years old and a complete know it all, got frustrated with her boyfriend over the weekend. Apparently, her boyfriend was not doing everything she wanted him too, and worse: he was not living up to her expectations.

Her boyfriend, Walter P Cumzwell, wanted to enjoy watching football on Sunday. This irritated Rosy, as she is a complete control freak, and has no sense of self-direction or self-control, and hence over-compensates by trying to direct and control others constantly.

feminist Feminist Harding told reporters, "I get so God-Damned frustrated when he doesn't do as I tell him, or he fails to live up to my expectations. He is even worse than my old boyfriend that did everything I told him to. Now that guy was a loser - such a complacent sack of crap. But this guy, Walter, he is even worse - he never does what I tell him to do - and he watches football instead of 'sewing with Nancy' like I tell him to. I got so pissed, I just had to smack him around. Unfortunately, he finally had enough of my smacking and pushed me down to the ground to get me off of him. It is totally unfair that men are stronger than women. We need more domestic violence laws to punish men when they don't take the beatings psychotic women like me constantly want to dish out when we do not have total control over ourselves and others."

feminismWalter was also interviewed to comment, "This bitch is crazy, I am outta here."

feminismPolice Chief Dick Nosack O'Toole was interviewed, "Oh yeah, we meet a lot of hot-headed witches that have unrealistic expectations of men or are just total control freaks. Once they realize that their expectations are not being met, or they realize how hard it is to control another human being, they flip and go totally psycho. That will not stop me from wanting to blame the man of course, I have abandonment issues with my father. I also have a very small penis, so I feel inferior to other men in general. Constantly blaming men for this kind of domestic violence is definitely my cup of tea! I'll protect ya little ladies!"


  1. You commit assault, at the very least, you should get cited for it.

    And I really do wonder at some women's bizarre frustration over men watching football...the only way it makes sense is if he refuses to let her watch what she wants to watch and that is not fair. What is good for the goose and blah blah.

  2. What's good for the goose is good for my grandma!

  3. I'm changing my last name to Cumzwell.

  4. Really?

    I prefer "Fartworthy", or "Fartsworth", or "FartsWell".