Friday, March 18, 2011

Japan's Nuclear Threat: No Pretty White Women Repeatedly Sexually Assaulted

MEN-Factor reporters traveled to Japan to cover the breaking news about the potential nuclear crisis threatening Japan at this moment. Our reporters are one step ahead of the game, as always, and asked various Japanese officials the hard-hitting question: Have any pretty white women been repeatedly sexually assaulted during this nuclear crisis? Or, more specifically, has Lara Logan been sexually assaulted by any of Japan's Nuclear reactors? Or, have any other white women been repeatedly sexually assaulted in a heroic fashion by any nuclear reactors?

This is what our reporters have learned so far about the nuclear crisis facing Japan:
Japan Nuclear ThreatJapan Nuclear Threat

Our reporters first asked the Japanese Nuclear Power Commission, if Lara Logan had been sexually assaulted by any of Japan's nuclear power plants:
Lara LoganJapan Nuclear Threat

We then asked our own American experts if any pretty white journalists were sexually assaulted repeatedly in a heroic fashion, would that have any effect on Japan's Nuclear crisis?
Lara LoganJapan Nuclear Threat

Then, in a most honorable moment, the Emperor of Japan himself took a few minutes to speak with our reporters. This was one of the proudest moments for our reporters, and they all want to express their thanks personally to the Emperor of Japan for speaking to them. This is what the Emperor said:
Japanese EmperorJapanese Emperor on the current nuclear crisis


  1. You fucking sexist racist pig! WTF is wrong with our white women? Why are they unrapable by yellowskins?

    Yellowskins are as capable as lightskins and rape knows no boundaries, gender or racial. I'm sick of your snide insinuations. Either white women are good enough to be raped by nip sons of bitches or they are not. Explain yourself or shut up.

  2. LOL - crap - I didn't even think of that...

    I guess I am a racist and sexist and massaganist....

    I like to get massages a lot.

  3. Even when I go to a Chinese take-out joint I always order the Happy Ending.

    (yes I know it's Japan not China, but I don't give two shits)