Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Dickless Moron Wearing Fuzzy Sweater on College Campus Decides he wants to get Laid; Appeals to Women's Hatred of Men to do so

Slaughty Bartfost of Dickless University in Maine obtained a Ph.D. in Philosophy and became an instructor at Dickless University. During those years of attending college, he never once had sexual intercourse. Now, all of that is about to change he claims.

"I plan to approach women with a 'you go grrl' attitude - to let them know that I am on their side. I hope that this will help me get laid. I plan to agree with the male-bashing prevalent on all college campuses in order to get women to like me, and hopefully, put out. I will simply tell women that I agree with laws like V.A.W.A, even though they are clearly sexist. Also, I will show my support for abortion and the rape-shield laws, and whine about how many democrats lost seats in the house of representatives in this election - yeah, that might do it! Why bother with self-respect when it comes to sex?"

Feminists on the Dickless campus were interviewed about Mr. Bartfost's plan. They all claimed that they would gladly have sexual intercourse with Mr. Bartfost just to prove a point. So far, according to Mr. Bartfost however, there have been no actual takers - just a lot of talk and support for his plan to acquire sexual intercourse. Most of them told reporters, the only reason any man agrees with anything women say is to get laid, and this just proves that point.

One brain-washed male-hating woman on the Dickless campus told reporters, "I am afraid of what his penis might do to me - assuming that he even has one. I am too used to the idea of hating male sex organs, and thinking of them as being evil and bad to want anything to do with one - but if it will make a political point, and encourage other of those men-things to agree with male-hatred and feminism, I might just be psychotic enough to do it. I'll have to take some extra Lithium and be severely doped up though. Hell, I'd f**k myself if I thought it would help society grant me more privileges - I MEAN RIGHTS."


  1. I almost wanted to ask how many people are like "Slaughty Bartfost" but then I don't because the answer would just be terrifying.