|They look like fun and non-menacing toys poised like vacuums. But are they in fact, sending the wrong message to middle-aged men like Richard from Reno Nevada when he shops at Walgreens? We sent our crack-head team of reportive investigators as well as our Prozac-ridden team of instigative reporters to investigate and report on these so-called "toys".|
Our crack-head team of investigating journalists investigated and journalized all about this bitch. They talked to the middle-aged Richard for 15 seconds, then smoked some more crack. This is what Richard allegedly had to say.
I think the person who made this toy vacuum box should be drawn
and quartered. In addition to sending the wrong message to
middle-aged men like Richard, it also sends the message that
boys are better at operating equipment like vacuum cleaners -
and that is damaging to women - that is why I do not have a
billion dollars - it is all because of this damned toy vacuum box.|
|I think the people that made this toy vacuum box should be stuffed into a cannon and then shot at a brick wall - that'll show 'em!!!|
|I think the makers of this toy vacuum box should be placed into the Iron Maiden. Then they will stop sending the wrong message to middle-aged men like Richard - who is clearly a victim of the toy vacuum cleaner.|
As the middle-aged Richard was leaving the Walgreens, the cashier made the grim mistake of saying "totally" way to much.
Richard then looked at the young female cashier and said, "TOTALLY? You know that I am like TOTALLY going to give you a hard time about that now..."
The young female cashier giggled (in order to cover up her sheer terror and fear of the misogynistic and creepy middle-aged Richard) and said, "OH, I am like so TOTALLY a valley girl".
The creepy Richard then responded back, "I am like TOTALLY going to pay cash for this purchase, and like TOTALLY get a pack of gum too."
Yes, he was clearly flirting with her - and this team of anti-depressant-smelling reporters has no choice but to blame the toy vacuum box for his pedophilic tendencies for flirting with a 20-something young woman. AND THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM BEING JEALOUS - GOT IT!!! If the toy vacuum box did not exist - Richard would probably be TOTALLY gay - which is like TOTALLY OK.
TOTALLY DAMN YOU TOY VACUUM BOX!!!!
LIKE, TOTALLY DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!