Friday, November 18, 2011

What's Wrong with this Picture?

MEN-Factor Scarecrow on Horse

  • Myself and the Horse are not in my basement
  • I do not have a basement
  • I appear to be happy, instead of bitter 'cause I'm not getting laid
  • I do not appear to be having issues with my mother
  • I am not beating the horse
  • I am not wearing my hockey mask, or carrying my axe
  • There is no drool on my mouth from head-meds
  • My girlfriend at the time took the photo - whom I ended up dumping and not vice-versa
  • There is some red-white ribbon crap in the tree to the left



A talk a Private Investigator had with me some 7-8 years ago...


One year, for no particular reason, on New Year's Eve, I made a New Year's resolution to "do things I would not normally do". The horseback riding picture you see above is one example.

At that time, I was in a relationship, where my GF was constantly accusing me of cheating on her. I thought her accusations were absurd. However; she didn't. In fact, she actually pulled a name from the company directory I worked for at the time, and decided that was the woman I was cheating with - I of course had never heard of the woman.

Anyway, occasionally, somebody would tell me that the reason she was always accusing me, is because she was cheating on me.

I have never trusted people who have all the answers - and their answers do not have any line of reasoning behind them.

Anyway, hiring a private investigator to "spy" on my GF was among things that I would not normally do - so I hired one...

She was cheating on me with not one, not two, but three different men.

The primary one, was older than me, older than her - he was shorter than me, and shorter than her. He also wore thick coke-bottle glasses, was bald, and had a pot belly - serious pot belly... I made more money than he did, and - well - not to boast, but I eat right and exercise everyday - plus, well - nevermind...

The P.I. asked me what I was going to do - I told him, "I'll just confront her with it".

When I did, she turned it all around, and claimed that it was my fault I was cheating on her - sufficient to say that I soon broke up with her - and got a new GF - the one that took the picture above.

I told the P.I. about her reaction to my confrontation. He gave me some advice that I'd like to share with you - especially young men out there - I list the dialog (this is not the exact dialog, but a rough estimate of what he said - it was 7-8 years ago - cut me some slack):

PI: Rich, how old were you when you first had sex?

ME: Why?

PI: Just answer the question.

ME: 23 - at a brothel.

PI: Did you actually try to pick up women before then?

ME: Yes.

PI: What kind of reaction did you get?

ME: Well, honestly, usually hostile.

PI: OK, I have seen this kind of crap happen to too many guys like you, and I am going to tell you something that you aren't going to like.

ME: Uh huh.

PI: Women hate you. I do not know why. It's not because you're a bad person, or because you're bad looking, it's just because. Any woman you meet will hate you. The only reason any woman is going to show an interest in you is because of your money.

ME: Well, I doubt that, there are millions of women...(I was also going to add that my last name is not Rockerfeller - I have extra money, but come on, I am not "wealthy" by any means)

PI Interrupted me: Look, I have seen way too many tech guys like you get screwed over by some bitch that is just stringing him along, and this is just friendly advice. Women do not like you, they never will. Any dreams you have about a marriage, or romance - ditch them. The only thing guys like you get is robbed of your money by some woman, like the one you have now - she is trading you for somebody that looks he should be hanging around elementary schools in a raincoat.

ME: (Thinking - I never took people's answers at face value - this time, I did - why - it was not something I would normally do - see the New Year's Resolution).

PI: I have no doubt that this woman you are with is badgering you to marry her.

ME: Actually, yeah, that is true, but there is no way I'll do it. And honestly, I do not have a lot of money - I am not rich.

PI: Do you have at least 10,000 dollars in the bank?

ME: Yeah - more than that.

PI: To her, she just has to put on an act for you, and have sex with the losers she is really into, and try to get you to marry her.

ME: (Staring with a look of curiosity on my face)

PI: Yeah, if you did marry her, she would file for a divorce within 6 months or so - it's like a job, where she suddenly gets 5,000 dollars, or even more - possibly 10 or 20 thousand? Dump her. And get rid of the idea of ever marrying any woman - you'll just get robbed. Look, hire prostitutes if you want sex. Go to strip clubs. I know this isn't something you want to hear, you strike me as being a square guy, but if you were actually trying to get laid, and in your generation you did not get laid by the age of 18, women hate you - the end. Do not get married. Do not let one move in with you, and do not move in with any of them. You will only lose your money.


The conversation continued for a bit, you get the gist of it.

I'd say this applies to all men - but, I do not know everything. This P.I. on the other had - he was 70 years old, and he had been a P.I. for almost 50 years as he claimed...

18 comments:

  1. Why, Scarecrow, do you appear to be wearing flippers?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Damn!!!

    I knew I missed one...

    After riding the horse, I was planning on going swimming.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, since this was obviously some time ago and you no longer have a girlfriend (at least a real one) you are now probably living in you mother's basement (since you don't have one yourself), you've probably eaten the horse, and are using that ribbon thingly to perform some autoerotic ritual on yourself.

    Then again, we have no idea that this picture is what you say it is. The woman who took the picture could have sent it to the police as proof you are stalking her.

    Finally, all that snow could mean that hell finally froze over and you actually did find a girlfriend.

    ;-)

    TDOM

    ReplyDelete
  4. @TDOM - ok, you are freaking me out - did you hire a private investigator of your own to spy on me?

    How did you know all that????

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your ex-girlfriend whispered it into my ear. BTW - I'm older than her, wear thick, coke bottle glasses, and have a serious pot belly.

    ;-)

    TDOM

    ReplyDelete
  6. I happen to like the picture and since I live in Alaska, I love that you're riding in the snow.

    I think what the PI told you is probably accurate on many levels. I would say 99% of women these days are after the mighty buck and the easiest way to get it is by hustling some nice guy into marriage and divorcing him within a year.

    My advice is find some gal in that 1% that wants a man to be the dominant partner and lead the way. This way, you know she won't stray, she won't have access to your cash and you can even train her to worship you. Just my 2cents.

    -Lara

    ReplyDelete
  7. Scarecrow, following your blog, observing the lives of my bachelor friends, and living in your neighborhood for the last 13 years has completely convinced me that I wouldn't be caught dead being single in northern Nevada.

    Women hate me too, but I found one that doesn't. If you do too you will be the luckiest man alive--but your PI is still right.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Had to figure things out the hard way... on my own.
    Wish I had someone spell it out for me.
    Nice post Bro!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Do not get married. Do not let one move in with you, and do not move in with any of them.

    Excellent advice.

    ReplyDelete
  10. @TDOM - seriously - your first name isn't Carl is it?

    @Brutal Antipathy - I would expand on that just a pinch - most women are out for the "quick" buck.

    @sestamibi - Well, my friend, I really do hope that she is not putting on an act for you.

    @Woozoo, Long Dong - NEVER GET MARRIED - EVER.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Scarecrow, thanks for the advice, but after sixteen years together either I've figured it out or her act is very, very good.

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Although I rather doubt that women do hate you scarecrow, and that GF of yours, was well.. but I find that whenever a woman accuses me of something crazy, then 'dime to a dollar' it is she who is doing that very thing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Holy crap, the PI is 70 and he knows about the Red Pill?
    He is Morpheus!

    Yes, MANY MEN need to know this; their gf/female friends are cutting and evil to them, but have them around ...
    because they want all the benefits that come with association,
    but want to keep people aware that they are open to a "better" offer.
    In other words, the nice guy to pay for her, while she carries the child of Mr. Alpha.

    ReplyDelete
  14. > Myself and the Horse are not in my basement
    > I do not have a basement
    > I appear to be happy, instead of bitter 'cause > I'm not getting laid
    > I do not appear to be having issues with my mother
    > I am not beating the horse
    > I am not wearing my hockey mask, or carrying my axe
    > There is no drool on my mouth from head-meds
    > My girlfriend at the time took the photo - whom I ended up dumping and not vice-versa
    > There is some red-white ribbon crap in the tree to the left

    And you're also fit and not unattractive.

    ReplyDelete
  15. OH ALEK - YOU WICKED SEDUCER YOU!!!!

    WANNA COME BACK TO MY PLACE SAILOR!!!

    (kidding).

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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