Monday, August 29, 2011

Mitt Romney in Hot Water; Deep-Dish Gate Exposed!

Mitt RomneyMitt Romney, presidential hopeful, has been exposed as a fraud! In-depth investigation reveals that he does not like deep-dish pizza. In fact, Mitt Romney hates pizza period. He hates it so much, that he also hates the leaning tower of pizza, and the musical instrument called a pizzicato (which is a plucked violin if my research holds merit).

Mitt RomneyMitt Romney once heard that a Janitor at the White House's last name was "Piazzo", he went ballistic, and beat the man up then demanded that he be fired.

Mitt RomneyMitt Romney's past was investigated by MEN-Factor reporters; they found Romney's childhood psychologist, Dr. Mindbender.

Dr. Mindbender claimed that Mitt Romney was regularly bullied in school by pizza when he was a child. In addition to that, his first sexual experience as a teenager was actually with a pizza disguised as a human female.

These as well as dozens of other experiences have led Mitt Romney to have an irrational fear and excessively vengeful attitude towards anything related to pizza.

Mitt RomneyMitt Romney regularly buys mozzarella cheese, just so he can kick and punch it when nobody else is looking, while he shouts, "TAKE THAT YOU PIZZA LIKE BASTARD!"

Mitt RomneyMitt Romney often gets hysterical over pizza at the White House. In order to get him to calm down, white house staff members must bring out a violin and start playing pizzicato. This frightens Romney, and usually gets him to run back into the broom closet where he spends most of his time at the White House. Rumor has it, while in the broom closet, he plays with dolls and has miniature make-believe tea parties with an array of fruity characters!

Mitt RomneyMitt Romney - being tranquilized by playing the pizzicato.
OK, my lame-a$$ humor out of the way.

There is in fact a real DEEP-DISH-GATE.

It is the fact that the LAME-stream media is either so f@cking whacked that they ask bone-headed questions of the presidential candidates like "deep dish or thin crust? Coke or Pepsi?" in the middle of a huge economic recession.

Or, they are purposely trying to get Americans to look the other way while the country goes to Ellsworth Maine in a hand basket.

Either way; LAME-stream media, all I have to say to you is this:

F@CK YOU

I'd like to take some thin crust, deep dish, coke and pepsi and shove it down your f@ck-wit throats until you stop breathing and turn blue.

2 comments:

  1. Whatever. Did you see the pair of knockers on that Casey Anthony chick? NICE!!

    ReplyDelete

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