Friday, May 6, 2011

Test your Woman I.Q.

Name:___________________
Sex:_____________________
How Often:_______________


  1. Susan buys lip gloss for $1.49 at Walmart. She currently has $10.00. How much lip gloss must she buy before getting pregnant?


  2. Sally gets into an argument with Regina at work. She goes and tells her friend Danielle about it for 35 minutes. How long will she talk about the incident with her husband John?


  3. Veronica is dating two men who do not know about each other: Steve and Kevin. How many days will elapse until both Steve and Kevin get a venereal disease?


  4. Jennifer's boyfriend Jeff just broke up with her - because he said she was too controlling. This is the third time that Jeff has spoken to her about her controlling behavior, this time he decided to end the relationship. How long will it be before Jennifer sleeps with Jeff's best friend Justin?


  5. Nancy is a high-school teenager and a cheerleader. She is sexually active with at least 15 boys in the high school. If Nancy is currently 16, how long will it be before she stops getting nailed by the entire football team on a weekly basis, and hooks up with a man that actually has a future?


  6. Lisa is in college getting a Liberal Arts degree. She just started college and this is her first semester. How long will it be before she becomes a militant vegan lesbian?

    1. How long will it be before she gets pregnant by some loser also getting a Liberal Arts degree?


    2. When will she consider herself as being "desperate enough" to "settle" for a "close-minded fascist pig" who does not have a Liberal Arts degree?



  7. Katherine is upset at her boyfriend Fred for not doing everything she tells him to. If this is the third time she has gotten upset over this, how much money will Fred have to pay to bail himself out of prison after she loses her temper and starts hitting him?


  8. Julie and her loser boyfriend Robert both take crystal meth. Robert is frequently abusive with her and beats her regularly. On a scale of 1-10, what rating would Julie receive on the looks scale?


  9. Linda is 17 and has had 3 abortions. How many abortions will she have had by the age of 18?

    1. How many by the age of 21?

    2. How many more at the age of 27?



  10. Olivia is insisting that her boyfriend Oliver really doesn't love her. Oliver tries to calm her down and prevent the situation from escalating into an embarrassing scene (since they are in a public place and Olivia is raising her voice) and ensures that he does love her.
    How much longer will this relationship last?


  11. Michelle is in college obtaining a degree in Women's Studies. After she graduates, how long will it take her to start bitching that a man with a degree in physics makes more than her and that is just plain sexist?


  12. Patricia thinks that Patrick is one cool dude. He is arrogant and does not care about anybody but himself. If Patricia measurements are 36-24-34, and her face is a perfect 10, and she is 21 years old, how much longer will Patricia be alive?


  13. Betty reads the daily horoscope and bases all of her decisions during the day on what she has read. How often does she mock people who believe in God?


  14. Sharron is currently running for U.S. senate. She is an upper-middle-class female that did not have to register for the draft and has a plethora of laws biased in her favor because she has a vagina (like V.A.W.A, Title IX, rape shield laws etc...). What shaming tactic will she use against her opponent if her running opponent is a man?


  15. Paula has been married three times. She has finally found a man, Paul, who is lonely enough, ignorant enough, and loaded enough to pay for all the debt she has acquired due to her carelessness and recklessness in her life. How many times will she "put out" for Paul before badgering him to marry her?


  16. Teresa racked up $140,000 dollars in student loan debt acquiring a Liberal Arts degree from Ding Dong University. How many men will she engage in hot and wild sex with before she finds one who is enough of a panzy to marry her - so that she can divorce him within a year and take care of her student loan debts?


  17. Joyce is sitting at a bar. She spent 2 hours putting on make up and styling her hair, and picking out clothes to wear before she came to the bar.

    1. How many men will approach her and

    2. How many men will she reject in a rude, hostile and uncalled for manner?


  18. Rebecca is 21 years old. She is young and beautiful. She has had 3 prior boyfriends that she flaked out on. She lives in an upper class neighborhood where the crime rate is very low and attends college. The average salary in her neighborhood is $120,000. How many false rape claims will Rebecca make?


  19. In one week, Lucy gives 3 blow jobs, 5 hand jobs, has sex 5 times and does anal 3 times. How many men did she engage in sexual activities with that week?


  20. Deborah wears 8 rings on her fingers. Each one of them remind her of something special in her life. Her boyfriend objects to her wearing all those rings - especially since all she wants to do is hand jobs.

    1. How many of the rings represent actual human beings that are special to her?

    2. How long will her relationship last?

  21. Mike was raised to be a kind decent human being. However, he WILL NOT tolerate injustice from anybody - including a woman. That is, if a woman falsely accused him of rape, sexual harassment, domestic violence, or false paternity - there is no way he would just "take it" - he would do everything he could to fight it; and of course, he would not resort to physical violence to resolve such issues - he does not allow other people to control him like that. How many Girlfriends does Mike Have?




Answers:


  1. 42

  2. We take the integral or 1/2 * x ^ 2 (roughly 10 hours)

  3. She is dating two men, sleeping with 2 ^ 5 or 32 men, so there is a 1/30 chance either man will get a disease - in 30 days, they should both have a disease.

  4. 7 days / 3 times - or 7/3 of a day.

  5. Never. She will marry a loser and get killed by him - she's hot!

  6. 3 months.
    (a) 6 months.
    (b) 5 years.

  7. At least $3000.

  8. 10.

  9. 3 more at age 18.
    (a) one per year, which is 3 more.
    (b) at 27, none, she will either have her tubes tied, or find a patsy to blame her latest pregnancy on and marry him.

  10. 3 months.

  11. 2 months.

  12. Take the average of her measurements, and add her age (36+24+34) / 3 + 21 = 52 days.

  13. Every chance she gets.

  14. "Man Up"

  15. As many times as it takes to convince him she is a real ride!

  16. 17.

  17. All of them. If she is mega-hot - all except the one that will end up killing her.

  18. (3 / 120,000) * 80,000 = 2.

  19. 3 + 5 + 5 + 3 = 16 men in one week - none of which were her husband.

  20. (a) - none, they represent her previous cats that are now dead.
    (b) 2 months.

  21. None

10 comments:

  1. The only ones I got right were 14 and 21.

    21 was the easiest. The first sentence gives it away.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Re #1: 42? As my physics instructor used to say, show your work!

    Surprisingly, I was pretty close on #4 (I answered 2), 9, and #16 (I answered 15).

    Even more surprisingly, I nailed question #14 (Code Green Peter Pan), 18, and 21.

    Tho 21 was easy, for such a dude is obviously an MRA and if he's not a married delta or an alpha, he doesn't have a prayer at getting a girlfriend/wife.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1. None if she's young. If she's old there isn't enough lip gloss in the world.

    2. Trick question. She's divorced.

    3. Trick question. She has already given both a venereal disease since she's had one form of VD or another since she was 13 or 14.

    4. Trick question. She's has already slept with Justin.

    5. Never. Men with a future will be using VR sex or sexbots by that time.

    6. Two weeks
    a. One month
    b. When it's too late for her to get one

    7. $5000.00

    8. 11

    9. 4
    a. 8
    b. An infinite number

    10. It depends on how much money Oliver has

    11. Trick question. She is already bitching about that.

    12. 4 hours

    13. All the time until she needs to find a chump to marry her

    14. All of them

    15. None because she will say that she's "found Christ" and won't put out until marriage.

    16. 258

    17. All of them

    18. 4

    19. 16

    20. a. None
    b. Two weeks

    21. None. Mike is still a virgin at 33 and has never even kissed a girl/woman and never been on a date. (Obviously I am Mike.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. @White and Nerdy....

    EXCELLENT!

    ReplyDelete
  5. P.M.S. - yeah, I have finally noticed a similarity between some people - you being one of them.

    I will rant about it at a later time.

    @Wapiti - yes, that first one is confusing

    ReplyDelete
  6. @ Anonymous May 6, 2011 5:28 PM

    I know how you feel, but - I have been observing men a lot lately, and seeing which ones are "successful" and which aren't.

    The overwhelming MAJORITY of MEN were RAISED to BEHAVE nice towards other human beings PERIOD.

    However, there are some "nice guys" that simply "take it". IT - being whatever garbage a woman wants to dish out.

    Those men are NICE and SUCCESSFUL with women.

    I guess that these men are referred to by others as either "white knights or manginas".

    Terms I am going to stop using.

    ReplyDelete
  7. test your men IQ
    1. Bob wants to destroy feminism how long will it take him?

    2.If Jack finds it difficult to get women to like him what will he do?

    3. Mike is a complete tool, he rants on about hating feminists all day and all night, and probably is a fat ugly virgin with an inferiority complex and and over inflated ego, if Mike keeps on yapping on inanly about false rape claims how many girlfriends will he have?



    answers:

    1.trick question, one person with strange ideas can't destroy a wordwide force, which has already changed the world for the better.

    2.If he's like the men on this site, blame women and feminsim for all the bad things that have happened to him and not be happy for the good things feminism has done for many people.

    3.None. Funnily enough rubbishing everything women are proud of doesn't get you any respect.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @anon - yours were lame - mine were funny.

    Enough said.

    ReplyDelete
  9. @scarecrow
    I wasn't laughing
    Enough said.

    ReplyDelete

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