Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Man Caught Staring at Woman's Breasts: Feminists Press for new Anti-Breast-Staring Legislation!

It was a beautiful day in Breastopolis Missouri, for some women on foot in Nipplary Park. However; their dazzling and sun-drenched day would soon become murky and evil - as unbeknownst to them, a breast-staring man was on the prowl.

As the group of women proceeded through the park, they were met by a breast-staring pervert. The women said that the man was staring in a threatening manner - as though he might have been sexually attracted to the women - and possibly even had a penis.

The authorities were immediately notified.

Police were able to identify and apprehend the suspect from sketches made by police artists:
Richard W. FartworthyRichard W. Fartworthy: Filthy Breast-Staring Pervert

Some of the alleged victims of the breast staring were interviewed by MEN-Factor reporters:
feministFeminist Samantha H. Rack: "This happens to me no matter where I go. Men stare at my breasts. I was eating a hot-dog, and it fell between my breasts - I yanked and yanked at it to get it out - and that weirdo was just staring at me with his mouth open. When oh when will nonsense like this end??"

feministFeminist Joy Tickle: "Everywhere I go men stare at my breasts, I am really sick of it. What kind of a sick world do we live in where men think it's OK to stare at a woman's breasts?

feministFeminist Teresa F. Juggs: "I feel like such a victim. I always do. No matter what I am doing, or where I am, some man is being a total filthy pervert and staring at my breasts. I hate it. Simply hate it."

feministFeminist Lisa Ball Oonz: "I never will understand men and why they are always staring at women's breasts. I paid thousands to have my breasts this big, and now, men keep staring at me."

feministFeminist Iva G. Spott: "What kind of a dirty world do we live in where I cannot go out in public in my underwear and not be stared at be people who have penises? This one time, somebody stepped on a bottle of lotion on the ground, the white lotion went squirting all over my breasts, as I was wiping it off, I noticed some man was just staring at me with his mouth open."

feministFeminist Melissa Green Cooch: "Damnit! I am so sick of men staring at me, as if being sexually aroused by me. It really frightens me. Oh heavens, it frightens me even more to think that they have those penis things on them."

feministFeminist Thelma N. Louise: "Men try to lie and tell me they are staring at my face, but look at me - my face is uglier than a donkey's ass! I know they are looking at my breasts, since that is my only redeeming quality. And honestly, it is not much of a quality either. Breasts this big are just plain silly - especially when they are fake. I should have spent the money to rebuild my face."

feministFeminist Gould Fer Elss: "Men are always staring at my breasts, especially when I am not wearing a top. I just cannot understand why they are all such perverts. Clearly, we are all victims of a patriarchal conspiracy!"

feminist leaderFeminist Leader Crane Kee Hagg was interviewed by MEN-Factor reporters: "These women are sexist! REEAAR! PFFFT! PFFFT! Those eight women are victims of male-oppression - that much is obvious! PFFFT! PFFFT! I was visually raped at least 267 times just yesterday! PFFFT!"

Richard W. FartworthyRichard W. Fartworthy is currently facing no charges, as being a heterosexual man is still legal in the United States and most other countries.

feminist leaderFeminist Leaders however are currently working hard so that men staring at freakishly humongous breasts, or any breasts, will be persecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Feminist leader's are currently devising plans to lobby Washington to push for tougher anti-male legislation to stop them from behaving like heterosexuals.

8 comments:

  1. Truth being stranger than fiction, I think it's safe to say that it is only a matter of time.

    LMFAO: The verification word for this comment was 'ibuffec'. Had the c been an m I could have been arrested under international anti sexual innuendo legislation.

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  2. They pretty much have banned it in the workplace. I see women everyday in with their low cut shirts and fake knockers on the verge of having a wardrobe malfunction........but of course if you stare then you can be charged with sexual harassment.

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  3. All of these things are indeed a way for the female of our species to gain power over men.

    Its intimidation through manipulation. I will pretend to be hurt and use the power of the community to silence you.

    Its amazing how it turns out, but read any theory on sexual harassment, and it actually describes to what the women do to do the men at the workplace. They use their breasts to silence you. They use flirting to control you, etc... etc..

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  4. Great article. Enjoyed the pictures.

    In reality, it's only a matter of time, as the criminalization of maleness continues apace.It just goes to show why men kept women out of the public square for so long, and why in many countries this is still the case. They were smart. Modern men are idiots. It is the West that needs liberation, not only Egypt and Libya.

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  5. @All - I agree - its makes me sick how some women wear really low cut tops - and give you a dirty look when you stare.

    I wonder how they would fair if half my penis was hanging out of my pants - You know they would be staring...

    It is called human sexuality.

    There is no denying it.

    It is a shame that a large portion of women simply use it to persecute men.

    No - not a shame.

    downright sick in the head.

    No wonder so many of them take head meds...

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  6. Lol @ "I wonder how they would fair if half my penis was hanging out of my pants - You know they would be staring..."

    I might try this, ass cleavage and pant mustache ready...

    Oh wait then they would arrest me for exposing my bits n bobs. I wish I wasn't so damn evil...

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  7. Yeah - only the Evil Penis is "indecent" to expose.

    boobies are ok to expose!!!

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