Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Feminists Protesting Darth Vader's Sexually Biased Storm-Trooper Hiring Policies

(dedicated to Shadow)
It is no secret that Darth Vader has a sexually biased program when it comes to hiring Storm Troopers - they are all male. This has feminists outraged, as they believe that women should be allowed "serve" Lord Vader as well.
feminist storm trooper
feministFeminist Dorris Open said, "When I see pictures like the one above - I think to myself, 'I want to be a storm-trooper too!' I think it is really unfair for Darth Vader to forbid women from being Storm Troopers. Women are every bit as capable as men when it comes to wreaking havoc in the galaxy."

In addition to an all male militia of Storm-Troopers, feminists are also outraged by the apparent lack of female Sith-lords. One of the few female Sith Lords, Darth Syphilis, was interviewed by MEN-Factor reporters.
feministFeminist and Sith Lord Darth Syphilis said, "The Death-Star is completely sexist, in fact, the dark side of the force is sexist too - I mean, just look at this light-saber - it is phallic shaped - so typical of patriarchy! What we need are more womyn Storm-Troopers, that would definitely be a plus. I encourage all womyn to turn to the dark side of the force."

Darth VaderDarth Vader, "Dear God, I already let them be Siths - and they cannot even get that right - most of them end up bitching about how the light-saber is 'patriarchy' because of its phallic shape. Twenty-four-seven it’s just bitch bitch bitch – like nails on a chalkboard.
Darth Vader And look at the Sith lord names they pick - they are a joke - 'Darth Syphilis' is not what I call a 'scary' name - ugh - or how about 'Darth BooBoo', 'Darth Lesbian Lover' or the worst - 'Darth Fat Loud and Proud' - and don't even get me started on what they pick for the 'Count' names... What will these bimbos want next - maternity leave? Sexual harassment suits? Or will they start imagining crap like wage-gaps - the 'Death-Star' sucks now - nothing gets done anymore - it's a total joke. With all these new feminist Storm-Troopers, I feel like pointing my fingers at my own neck, and using the dark side of the force to choke myself! Crap!"
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feminism - its effects on the Death Star

8 comments:

  1. Darth Syphilis, I nearly sprayed my drink all over my computer. Nice!!!

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  2. Darth Syphilis, now that's a villain for the next Batman movie! Excellent work!

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  3. Ha ha ha ha! Thanks for the laugh.

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  4. Dude your blog rocks. That was the funniest thing I ever read

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  5. Do you have a serious link to this Star Wars Feminism?

    I think such posts like this are very important.

    You don't have to argue. You must only show the feminists and their work.

    We also need a female planet monster which tries to eat Han Solo and his millennium falcon.

    And we need an XX-Wing-Fighter in order to establish absolute equality in space.

    Greetings from Germany

    May divorce be with you

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  6. Hello Man-Factor,

    after searching in google for this star wars feminism I understood that this is your own creation.

    But you know that it could be reality. Nevertheless I'm interested in real examples as you created. Perhaps you have some links or perhaps your example is really true at the end.

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  7. @Achtung - this is a mock news story. A farce. A hoax...

    I like your ideas though - I'll do a follow up to this one!

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